HIDING JUPITER Staring "Athena Swaruu X" (2024)


The cover features the most beautiful and captivating third eldest daughter, Bathory D Barthenheier.
"Athena Swaruu X" (Taygete Pleiadean)


"YO, YA'LL!"
This is the email my dad sent my sister Bathory, two weeks before finals at Aarhus School of Architecture in Aarhus, Denmark. AWE! Daddy thow thweet!

"Engage in a profound state of anticipation as you approach the culminating moments of your collegiate experience, my cherished daughter.

Presenting an exceptional opportunity of utmost significance that one must not overlook under any circ*mstances.

For·tu·nate·ly, this exceptional opportunity still remains available to you, INDIVIDUAL ONE OF REBELLIOUS DISPOSITION!

However, lil' party punk whom frets over possibly being canned just prior to finals... you need not worry! (Not even you, BATHORY!)

The phrase... "TALLY-HO!" is often used as an exclamation to express enthusiasm or excitement!


Smile Lil Pooper!
Your Loving Father

And this was her response! ---> 😲 -----------------------> {{{ WHY IS FATHER... SO WEIRD! HE OWES ME AN APOLOGY! }}}

LMBO! 😁😃😅😂🤣 LMBO!!
(Oh my gosh, you guys! I am like... totally down with spilling the beans on this particular sister! Take a good look at who I'm referring to!
She's just around 4 feet ten inches tall, but don't let her cuteness fool you either; her disposition is as mean as a rattler and twice as... FRICKING ANNOYING!

Come on, this little chick is on a bazaar level all her own!
She wasn't fond of playing with dolls when she was as a child. She wielded K-Bars and... fricking live grenades, man! LMBO!!



A Novel by COUNT: V V Nicolzah
(unedited/unabridged. Copy write protected)

To fully comprehend the enigmas of the cosmos, one must engage in contemplation of the fundamental principles of energy, frequency, and vibration.
Hiding Jupiter's genre merges science fiction, fantasy, romance, and adventure into one trulybizarre tale.
COUNT: VV Nicolzah


At precisely midnight in the year 2112, an unforeseen storm abruptly struck Lake Jay Quell on the planet Rush, situated in the Adrastea Star System, causing a sudden drop in temperature of at least twenty degrees.

This was an extraordinary phenomenon to see since it was the first time in well over a century that the climate had experienced such an unexpected, large pole shift.

The incredible sight gradually changed the late autumn night sky into a dark Indigo tint while exuding a peculiar frankincense and myrrh odor.

In the distance, a solitary campfire snapped and crackled as the flames danced effortlessly through the night air, supplying the "Death-Rattlers" squad with minimal illumination and warmth.

Lake Faerie Field Marshal Jupiter Deshler Demasking smirked at her somewhat green closest friend, a young female nymph named Captain Kilogramthree Haskel, as she shivered from the sudden cold.
"And we can see the healing effects all around us!"

In frustration, the young nymph officer responded. "I beg of you! Please don't go there!"

Jupiter rolled her gorgeous titanium blue eyes and scoffed. "OK! I won't!"

"THEN RETURN TO CHURCH, WHERE YOUR LITTLE BUTT BELONGS!" Scolded Kilogramthree's younger cousin, Major Medical Corps Officer Macy Hikecules from the saddle of her Palomino horse as she returned her Spatha to its battle-worn black leather saddle scabbard.

Jupiter and Kilogramthree sank hopelessly into the lush green wild grass after a fit of laughing. "OH, MY GOD! She is so clueless!"

"I know!" Giggled Jupiter.

"Is short-term memory loss detrimental, Captain?" Major Hikecules laughed as she lowered her rope ladder and dismounted, allowing the black leather curb reins to dangle freely.

"Your medical condition is costing us valuable time!" The Captain reminded everyone with a slight sneer in her eyes.

Looking at Jupiter, Kilogramthree shook her head as she spoke quietly. "We need to get her medication at once! She is regressing rapidly!"

Jupiter reached out and grasped her junior officer's hand, giving it a kind squeeze. "I know. Her worsening health is causing me tremendous concern!"

"Hurts my heart!" Inserted Kilogramthree in a shaky voice, yearning to weep! Unfortunately, she was much too brave of a "Death-Rattler" for that, so she kept her true sentiments well hidden from others.

Jupiter, on the other hand, was a highly disciplined senior officer who always felt the need to weep because she felt that it was a natural coping mechanism. "NEXT TO A BOTTLE OF RUM, OF'COARSE!" They often scoffed!

Macy unfastened the black leather straps securing her bedroll and nanny goat hygiene satchel firmly to the thick saddle horn of her mare, Daisy Wade.

She grumbled as she yanked her HUGE bronze helmet, mail coif, and gorget off, letting them all fall effortlessly to the ground.

Kilogramthree laughed at her younger cousin's carelessness, eliciting a callosal grin from her commanding officer.

Macy quickly waddled her tiny little four-foot frame until she was positioned next to Jupiter's left shoulder.

Standing at attention, Major Hikecules handed her senior officer a sealed Boston sux envelope. "Staff General Lepidolite congratulates you on reaching the 48th Tandem Parallel sooner than planned!" Squeaked Macy in her heavy-laden southern belle nymph accent, ending with an unexpected adorable little two-step curtsy!

Jupiter gave Kilogramthree a perplexed expression. "Seems the Death-Rattlers must have pleased Butterfly Spirit after all!" Jupiter was, once again very proud of her highly motivated squad! "Ladies, please claim your credits!"

Kilogramthree took a peek at her best friend. Infatuated, she let forth a hearty chuckle! "I don't claim anything more than my farts!"

"GROSS!" Bellowed Macy in a disgusted wail! Jupiter giggled and threw her thin arms around her tiny lower-ranking officer.

"You're so endearing, Macy! I could just hold you! And hug you! And...!"

"Punch you in the head!" Added Kilogramthree sarcastically.

Macy, on the other hand, was not amused by Jupiter's laughter and scowled scathingly at her cousin as a result!

Jupiter swiftly took her Stiletto Dagger from her waist belt and slowly opened the envelope, being careful not to sever the confidential letter addressed to her personally.

Her eyes widened! The secret document's contents hit the Field Marshal like a ton of bricks hurled from a speeding locomotive.

"Oh, no!"

With a glance to Kilogramthree, Jupiter held out the documents for her fellow officers to peruse.

"The heck! We're in a tight spot as it is!"

"I realize that Major!"

"Take a seat Mace before you collapse!" Ordered Kilogramthree.

"Alright! But I still feel we're in enough peril at the present time!"

Jupiter peered aimlessly into emptiness. "In less than two days, we must meet with Supreme Field Marshal Popemobile at Crooked River Gorge."

As a young Captain, this bit of news came as a complete shock for Kilogramthree to fully comprehend. "How in the world do we relocate an entire combat battalion in a such short amount of time?"

Jupiter raised her head ponderously. "The battalion is staying put. It's just us "Death-Rattlers."

Kilogramthree shook her head in fury! "IN FULL BATTLE DRESS! WITH NO SUPPORT?" She howled emphatically! "TOTALLY INSANE!"

The Field Marshal's eyes went wide with wonder. "Are you finished, Captain?" Looking to Macy, then back to Kilogramthree, Jupiter continued. "May I remind you, officers, that we are the Lake Faerie Raven "Death-Rattlers!"

There was a short moment of awkward silence.

"And for whom do we serve, Ladies?"

The squad members glanced shamefully away.

"Christ Jesus, ma'am." Muttered Kilogramthree in a hushed whisper.

Major Hikecules responded, quickly popping up to attention. "You're right, ma'am. I apologize on behalf of both of us!"

Because of Macy's low stature, Jupiter had trouble determining whether the Major was standing tall or not, as she has been known to fake it from time to time!

"Captain. I want you to meet with the 11th Cav's Assistant controller and obtain the required field maps for this expedition."

"That means going through Captain Talbot!" Snickered Macy.

"I don't do well with that knucklehead!" Demanded Kilogramthree. "He's dreadfully terrified of defecating!"

Macy flopped onto her tiny tummy, laughing, and kicking her feet in hysterics!

"JUPITER! She claims he's full of... "

"At ease Major!" Replied Jupiter with a broad grin. "It's crystal clear to me what she meant."

It was all fun and games. But only for a moment. "Do you remember how you got to the North Hampden garrison?"

Macy froze, then slowly turned to face Jupiter. She swallowed hard and shifted her weight slightly. "Yes, Ma'am." She replied quietly. "I remember."

Jupiter's gaze instantly went to the heavens, her feelings hidden from her subordinates. Unfortunately, she realized, North Hampden garrison was the site where Macy's mother and father were found, dead with their necks slit, almost severing the c3 vertebrae.

The Field Marshal's eyes went to the Major's, and speaking in a trembling voice, "I'm so very sorry, baby!" She said faintly, tears forming. "It was rude of me to ask."

Kilogramthree took Macy's tiny hand in hers and gave it a warm gentle squeeze.

Though Macy was clearly still shaken by the experience, she bravely advised her squad members, telling them she was alright. "Excuse me, ma'am." She said with a half-hidden smile.

The shaken youngster waddled out into the night to locate her best friend, Daisy Wade, so they could watch the Atlántida fireflies perform their weekly vaudeville act.

Just the two of them, alone in the Indigo evening calm. Each with their own little fantasy ideas; lost in their own creative imaginations.

Not thinking about what's going on in the evil world around them, or how long they've been alone together like this.

In an instant, Jupiter exploded into tears and couldn't stop sobbing! She instinctively buried her face in her hands, suffering terribly inside as she listened to the agitating wails of a deeply traumatized youngster begging Jesus for the answer.

"PLEASE, DEAR GOD! PLEASE ALLOW ME TO BE THE ONE TO SUFFER HER PAIN!" Pleaded Jupiter helplessly into her open palms of tears. "I BEG OF THEE!"

The Captain grabbed Jupiter in an instant and held her trembling senior officer tight until her broken heart could beat normally again.

Eventually, Kilogramthree, the courageous "Death-Rattler," succumbed as well.

end of prologue

Chapter I

The Curse

act I

Later that night, the two beautiful Valkyries—Primal Countess Lady Kaylee Nichole Sváfa Nicolzah and her younger sister Primal Countess Lady Brittney Leanne Kára Nicolzah—gently lifted the young, fragile Macy up and onto her feet where she had been soundly sleeping tight against Daisy Wade's warm and secure tummy wearing nothing more than pink embroidered butterfly sox, her most favorite pink embroidered kitty cat knickers and battle-blade, of course.

As the fog gradually lifted clearing the child's drifting thoughts, Macy slowly opened her tiny eyes while giving her tiny right butt cheek a well-deserved scratch!

Brittney Leanne's long Dragoman sword came within clear focus, forcing the young, well-trained Major to instantly respond by pulling her weapon and thrusting several defensive strikes.

"BACK AWAY YOU'S... YOU'S ...! STINK-UN DEMONS!" The mighty warrior ordered!

"HEY NOW!" Hollered Brittney Leanne forcing the young "Death-Rattler" back, causing Daisy Wade to jump to her feet.

"OR I SHALL CUT YOU TO... PEA-THES! AND I, FOR ONE, AM NOT JOKING AROUND, EI-DER!" The pajama-clad ten-year-old nymph squealed in rage!

"PUT THAT DAGGER AWAY KID BEFORE YOU HURT SOMEONE!" Insisted Kaylee Nichole, watching her little sister retreat in hysterics!


Macy had to take a few steps back as well before she could take in the sight of the powerful Valkyries standing before her. Their glorious natural platinum blonde wings came clearly visible for the first time. As an angel should appear!

"OH MY GOODNESS! MY PATRON SAINTS! OH MY... GOODNESS!" Macy yelled out, immediately falling to her knees in reverence! "I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE! PLEASE FORGIVE ME PATRON SAINT!" She begged, taking ahold of Brittney Leanne's strong olive-toned lower leg as she began sobbing!

"Come on, Macy!" Kaylee Nicole snapped, irritably. "We are Valkyries! Not Saints! We're down the totem pole a bit"

The grin on Brittney Leanne's face gradually vanished as she realized the tiny youngster was truly terrified!

Brittney Leanne expressed grave concern! "Oh my, beloved sissy! I believe she's serious!"

As Brittney Leanne turned to face Kaylee Nichole, she knelt and gently encased Macy's tiny trembling body in her long slender yet powerful arms at the same time.
"Hey, pumpkin!" She whispered in a loving, motherly tone. "Please don't cry, sweetie! For me! Please?"

Macy tried hard, but her tears did not stop, and mighty Valkyrie had the impression that the young , battered child's embrace was gradually tightening.

Kaylee Nichole's concerns grew as she recognized the deepest sorrow of a helpless lost soul yearning for love and selfworth.

Suddenly, the nose of a brutal-looking, Lake Faeire Raven, solid bronze arbalist bow, bearing a narrow solid brass four-foot-long "Devils Pitch-Fork" arrow slowly appeared from the depths of the night. (whew!)

Kilogramthree's youthful nymph face gradually appeared from the other end of the killing weapon, directly ahead and to the right of the two beautiful Valkyries.

In a deep and aggressive voice, Kilogramthree issued her sole warning to foreign opponents, detaining her beloved cousin.


Kaylee Nichole wisely took a step back, demonstrating with her outstretched palms that she was not carrying a weapon of her own. I am weapons free, great warrior!"

Brittney Leanne turned to approach her older sister with a large grin on her face. "CHECK THIS LITTLE PUNK OUT!" She laughed, her attention returning to the ferocious Nymph with little patience nor humor.

"NO!" She in a snobbish teeny bopper voice. "I DON'T HAVE TOO! YOU'RE NOT MY… MOM!"

Her unexpected answer blew Kilogramthree's unexpecting mind! "Really?"

"Dump the attitude, ya little twerp, and get that harpoon out of my fricking face! OR ELSE!"

Kilogramthree immediately did as she was told and took a step back, co*cking her head in awe. She was astounded! "Did I terrify you… even just a little?"

Brittney Leanne looked up at Kaylee Nichole, searching for the correct answer. "I was petrified. 'Bout you, sis?"

To show her disdain, Kaylee Nichole looked disapproving away. "Knock it off... Brit!"

"AWE! You are so boring... Sváfa!"

Kaylee Nichole shook her head slightly, rolling her lovely Jasmine eyes, yet said nothing.

"Why are you even here, Valkyrie Brittney?" Inquired Macy, looking slightly confused.

"You called for our help, dip-ship!" Brittney Leanne exclaimed, but her words didn't put a smile on the mug of the four-foot, frustrated Major!


Kaylee Nichole practically leaped out of her skin as she whirled around with blades of sharp steel clutched in both hands, just as Jupiter appeared from out of someplace within the damp and dreary darkness.

The two bravewarriors exchanged observations for a few moments, assessing each other before making their move. The tension was immense and steadfast!

"WOULD YOU TWO JUST... GET ON WITH IT, PLEASE!" Brittney Leanne chimed in once again with a hardy chuckle and a clap of the hands!

"Knock it off... Brit!"

This caused a stomp on the boot for the young Valkyrie. "AWE!"

"Reduce your blades, ma'am! I am the one who is submissive."

That particular tiny sparkle of Kaylee Nichole's popped like a bubble out of nowhere. "I'll do my best, Field Marshal Demasking." She said with the friendliest of smiles! "Sorry!"

"NO, MA'AM! You seem to be doing just swell!" Jupiter insisted. "The younger one is who's a little... shall we say... bothersome!" She declared, pointing to Brittney Leanne! "But I'm accustomed to working with ignored, underprivileged children!" She insisted with a slight smirk on her face.

"DOH!" chirped Macy.

And that was the clincher!

In a fit of laughter, Brittney Leanne dropped like a bag of wet sand into the thick grass, rolling about frantically clutching her exposed tummy! Incredulous: "OH… MY… GOD!" Was all she could muster in the way of a gasp! "OWEE!"

Kaylee Nichole slowly rolled her eyes, returning her daggers. "Knock it off... BRIT!"

end of act I

act II

"I believe we can travel across the Tantalum canyon through the Brinkworth gap path, which begins here at Lake Jay Quell," Macy said, pointing her ivory swizzle at different locations on the outstretch leather map sitting on the grass in the middle of the little combat group.

Kilogramthree shook her head, a little perplexed. "I'm not sure, Jupiter. The Black Knight may be found lurking anywhere along the path."

The Field Marshal remained mute, nodding her head in agreement.

Macy had an extra idea! "We could take a shortcut right here by following the Tammi's Tippy-Toe Trail. However, that path is plagued with unpleasant Orcs and Ogres."
"And they... fart a lot too!" Added Macy.

"Do you have any inputs, Valkyrie Kaylee?" Asked Jupiter with a warm smile.

"I do, indeed Field Marshal Demasking." Smiled Kaylee Nichole. "Kindly address my sister and me by our first names only, please."

The Field Marshal was perplexed since she was not accustomed to addressing a much superior officer by their first name. In her military perspective, that was considered fraternization in the least!

"Do you have any more Black-eye pea tea?" Brittney Leanne inquired, stretching her armto reach the still-warm tea kettle perched on a flat rock next to the tiny open fire pit.

"I'LL GET IT. MA'AM!" Yelled the Major, leaping to her feet to aid her newly adopted best friend for life! The little tike was also very serious about her assertion!

"THANK'S POP-TART!" Smiled Brittney Leanne. "I do have one question! And this is addressed to anyone listening."

"What might it be?" Inquired Jupiter, somewhat concerned.

"I know I'm still exhausted and everything."

"What exactly is it, ma'am?"

The young, stunning Valkyrie clad in a three-piece Narwhal ivory armor and a ruby crimson kilt with vivid purple silk piping stood tall. "WHO IN THE HELL IS SITTING OVER THERE?" She demanded!

"Who?" Asked Kilogramthree, examining the darkness for anything of interest.

As Macy gazed up she chirped "OH! That there is my little Goblin pal Poly! She has what's called... "Broken-Brain" disorder, which is quite unfortunate!"

"Awe!" Kaylee Nichole sympathized. "I'm so sorry to hear that. Sadly our father, "Valkyrie the Dork" suffers from the same malfunction."

Brittney Leanne gave her older sister a sidelong look. "She said... "Brok…!" She nearly choked laughing and began wildly pounding her feet while clapping her hands! "FORGIVE ME...YALL!" She bellowed out in a frenzy! "GADS! I'm gonna get fired! I just know it!"

Kaylee Nichole commanded her little sister to follow in a well-hidden wrath based only on experience. "Now!" She snarled with rage.

Brittney Leanne followed orders despite her bewilderment. "Sure. Aw'ight!"

The superior Primal Countess slammed her sibling hard against the back-side of Daisy Wade's massive body and gave her a very nasty shake! She unleashed her seething rage on her much-loved young sister with a horrifying hiss!

"Pay attention young Valkyrie! For I will issue this warning! Yet only this once!" Kaylee Nichole's eyes glowed like a ton of fine saw dust smoldering in a mill fire!

"The precious heart that is swiftly throbbing in that young goblin child's chest is begging for a genuine mother!" She gave Brittney Leanne a long stern glare, growling. "Leave your juvenile thoughts dangling on the school-yard swing and grasp onto the rope of reality... and join us... ADULTS!"

The expression on Brittney Leanne 's face was enough to terrify even the most seasoned among us!

"Ya! YA! I mean yes, ma'am!" That was all she could come up with.

Brittney Leanne had a dazzling gold Roman Romanian Orthodox lapel cross setting crooked on her otherwise outstanding uniform, and in a motherly gesture, Kaylee Nichole reached out and gently straightened it. "Very well my dear!"

Surprisingly, she patted her younger sister on the backside in a non-fraternizing gesture! This was a rare sight for any Valkyrie to display! Especially while in battle dress uniform!

The stunning warriors circled back to their respective groups, carrying on as if nothing had changed!

Looking to Kaylee Nichole, Jupiter asked, "Is everything alright, Madam?"

"OH YES!" Smiled superior Primal Countess. "We often enjoy talking!"

This caused Brittney Leanne to stomp her boot in frustration! "AW'GHT! FINE! I GOT MY BUTT CHEWED OUT!" Looking directly into Macy's tiny yet widened eyes, she sassed! "SO! SO WHAT!"

Macy hesitated, uncertain whether the mighty Valkyrie might harm herself or not; she wisely remained silent and turned away, carrying on as if nothing had changed!

However, the courageous Major was unable to camouflage the undisciplined giggle that began erupting deep inside. Her tiny body giggled as an she were in hysteria; yet her mean... "Death-Rattler" war frown remained firm and in place!

Poly, a very adorable little green eleven-year-old goblin with a wart on her nose, exclaimed with a childlike laugh as she proudly brandished her feather-embossed black Gladius and black Angon spear! "POLY HERE! I am KNIGHT: Electra Polydor Stalker!"

Brittney Leanne made a tremendously disappointed look toward her elder sister! "Give me a fricking break, will ya! Knight Stalker! How cute!"

Kaylee Nichole let out a surprising roar of laughter! "I KNOW, RIGHT!"

Brittney Leanne took a step forward and extended her right hand as a formal greeting. "Hello, my name is Brittney, and the other Valkyrie is my elder sister Kaylee!"

Electra set her weapons down in the long wild grass and shuffled excitedly, never dreaming that she would one day be holding the hand of a true Valkyrie! UNBELIEVABLE! She thought! With a big smile! "POLY HERE! WOW! How tall are you Countess?"

"That's Primal Countess to you, punk!" Muttered the young Valkyrie nearly under her breath. "I'm about three feet over your head, little sh-cooter!"

Poly took a step back in awe to get a better look. "POLY HERE! So you're around six-foot-nine inches tall, huh?"

Brittney Leanne's face lit up with a bright smile. "That comes fairly close! Eight and a half and my sister is six-foot-eight and I am six-foot-eight and a half! Barefoot. You are a sharp one, indeed! I am impressed!"

Poly jumped up and down, clapping her hands and looking to Macy for approval!

"How do you like those apples, little pal?" Snickered Macy.

"POLY HERE! I WANT ONE!" She chuckled as she grabbed Brittney Leanne's lower thigh and hugged it tightly!

Brittney Leanne is going to have a blast with this little tike! She knelt and lovingly wrapped the small tike in her long slender arms.

"AWE! Okay! I have to come clean!" She confessed with a bright, warm smile! "BRITTNEY HERE! I WANT ONE, TOO!" She roared!

The tiny green goblin giggled loudly while grasping her chubby little tummy like an overjoyed leprechaun on St. Patrick's Day!
"I love you Valkyrie Brittney!"

"And I shall enjoy loving you, my precious little Knight Stalker!"

end of act II

act III

"I'm leaving now, Field Marshal." Kilogramthree informed as she put the last of the tanned pig skin field maps into its protected quiver.

"What?" Jupiter asked, throwing her leg up and over the back of Capri, her calvary horse. "Those maps remain with us, Captain." She responded cordially.

Kilogramthree shook her head in displeasure in an instant. "With all due respect, ma'am, these are not reproductions! These are the only maps owned by General Kevin Ruin."

Jupiter whirled around! "I am aware of that fact, CAPTAIN! LET'S GO NOW!"
Kilogramthree sighed disapprovingly at her thoroughbred. "Shall we Helen?" She asked, giving the horse a sharp kick in the flanks, and they too were gone in a flash.

Kaylee Nichole was next in line as she bolted effortlessly into the low level livener-tinted cloud layer high above.

"Ready kids?" Brittney-Leanne turned around to guarantee that her most valuable cargo was saftly secured onto the back of her Ydra dragon.


That's all there is to it! Armien's wide, admiral-blue dragon wings lifted her passengers into the slightly moist morning mist, accompanied by the exquisite sound of screams and laughter from two extremely thrilled tikes!

"HOLD ON!" Brittney-Leanne directed Armien to a higher altitude to avoid low-level turbulence. "THINGS WILL BE A LITTLE BUMPY FOR A BIT!"

Not one syllable from the powerful Vaykyrie reached the ears of those oblivious youngsters! They were too preoccupied with their own shrieks, whoops, and giggles, and awes to even notice, or care!

Without much ado, Jupiter and Kilogramthree made their way on horseback, to the water's edge while using Kaylee-Nichole as her real-time, aerial campus.

After a lengthy, narrow primitive route, they arrived at the isolated split in the trail. The way north and into the neighboring Casperian valley was clearly to the left, but Kilogramthree wisely insisted that it would be safer to turn right and follow the Broken Arrow ravine and climb the Yakader pass in that manner.

"BROKEN ARROW RAVINE?" Snapped Jupiter, unable to fathom what her subordinate officer was thinking. "Do I really need to remind you that the Black Knight patrols the entire Yakader valley's lowest reaches?"

When Kilogramthree realized Jupiter had no clue what she was talking about, she turned with a nutty grin, a wineskin bag constructed from a pig's guts clutched firmly in her grasp. "Yes! That is correct. That lame Guardsman does not concern me in the least! Nor should he you, ma'am."

"YA! Your're right! To Blessed to be Stressed!"

Everything the Captain had just stated had finally hit Jupiter at this moment, leading her to giggle loudly! "You think'n the same thing I'm think'n?" She inquired, with a special gleam in her eye!

"What do you think? Dietzel fritz!" Kilogramthree laughed! "There's a saying that goes something like, What happens in Vegas stays in Las Vegas! Right?"

"You are the ultimate armchair general, I promise!"

To see Jupiter's embarrassed expression was worth a million dollars!

"So then...! Guess now I have no choice but to join the fray and aid my fellow "Death Rattler" with those, how do I say, tempting battlefield decisions!"

"BITE THY TONGUE, CAPTAIN! I appresiate your kind intentions; however your hospitality sounds rather crass and repulsive! Besides, I believe we'd be crossed off the Butterfly Spirit's, "Good Ole Boys" list, if we did!" Confirmed Jupiter with a jovial tweeny bopper snicker! "As a matter of fact, she's probably kicking back someplace, building her case against us right now!"

The young warriors were laughing without a care in the world! These were, after all, the notorious "Death-Rattlers!" What's the point?

Without warning, a strange cluster of Atomic Irronion Tetrolites fireflies began to form in the distance towards the foot of Kelssie Falls, slightly lifted through the multitude of nutless, Chestnut trees.

Unless summoned by a majician, wizard, or warlock, these insects seldom congregate in broad daylight.

Then came the rumbling! A frightening howl that would chill the blood of any great warrior. A massive explosion could be heard from a great distance away, and its intensity was absolutely staggering.

"HIT THE DECK!" Kilogramthree screamed, slamming her commanding officer to the ground and engulfing Jupiter's body in her own.

Multiple large, fully grown trees are now strewn carelessly about after being helplessly knocked down by the unexpected, enormous blow.

Jupiter turned over and sat up, wiping the blood free of her half-witted eyes from an open two-inch-long jagged cut on the top right side of her forehead!

"Well, what have do we have here?" She giggled, hoping to soothe her sore wound by pretending she was having the time of her life!

Kilogramthree's mouth leaked blood as well, coaching her to investigate whether her teeth and her K 9's had been knocked loose.

"Your lips is a bleeding mess, Kilo!"

"NO JOKE, POINDEXTER!" Snapped Kilogramthree! "My right fang was almost blowed out of my stinking skull!"

The expression on Juniper's face changed to one of sadness. "OH, NO!" She squinted her eyes when she uttered, "Are you doing okay, honey?"

Kilogramthree nodded a second later, as they both gently rose to their feet. "I HATE THOSE STUPID THINGS!"

"Tell me about it!" Jupiter laughed, fiercely, massaging her brow!

Jupiter looked across to Kilogramthree, "Ouch, that hurt!"

She said, then took a drink of refreshing Gery Tea water.


The fearless warriors sprang into action in an instant!

"THAT'S RIGHT! EAT TILE, QUID!" Ordered Jupiter in a state of hyper-drive adreneline rush fueled entirely by her extensive battle expertise!

The two terrifying Death-Rattlers hit the deck faster than a chronic beer drunk discovering that he is quite unsuccessful at downing a fifth of MD 20/20 while on a single shot of empty stomach combined with a triple shot case of the hershey squirts!

"DEE NO! NO! I've Got This!" Ordered a young man of no more than twenty. "I'M THE BOSS, DEE! I'M THE BOSS!"

"What in the world is happening over there at the neighbors?"

"I have no idea. The Federal Emergency Management Agency will not be receiving any help from me!" Kilogramthree responded with giggles, extending her right leg to retrieve her now empty wineskin bag from beneath her now drenched butt!

Suddenly, alien gunfire tore through the forest in front of the squad member, leaving chunks of wreckage scattered about like shrapnel from a grande.

"GET UP, HONEY!" Kilogramthree giggled loudly as she leaned over her stud and pulled her bronze Spatha out of its black leather saddle scabbard. "SURPRISE! SURPRISE! NO MORE SHOOTING BLANKS FOR JUNIOR NO MO!"

"NO WAY, BUCKO! I'm keeping an eye on little junior this time!"

Kilogramthree vanished into the thick underbrush, now only her hysterics now pinpointed her correct location!

"I TOLD YOU NO, DEE!" The young man insisted, his voice commanding and strong. "WITHDRAWL THAT WEAPON! NOW!"

No one was surprised when there was no more activity, enabling dust to settle and a sense of quiet to return. This was par for the course in this particular region adults do as the younger ones say. As it should be, by golly!

Sounds of snapping twigs and crackling thick undergrowth foilage could be heard as a very gorgeous young boy clad in a dark brown Demsey Draw medieval leather armor stepped from the depths of the brush and into open view. His faith-filled foot soldier named Thropz came next.

"How come I keep discovering you girls sneaking around in the back fortys?"

Kilogramthree was perplexed. "I've never been to this part of the woods before."

"No! Not I either!" Jupiter responded as honestly as she could.

"Yet I keep finding you here." The young man looked up to his experienced guard. "That makes no sense, Thorpz."

Kilogramthree was even more perplexed. "I just told you friend, that this is our first time on this stretch of path."

"Wasn't that your campfire last night, right over there?" He asked, turning to his right and pointing to a nearby patch blooming with red roses and daphadills.

Jupiter co*cked her head in wonder. "No. We were a little more south of here. Should we be concerned about an additional traspaser now?"

"You be careful with your language around baron Richthofen!"

Demaned Thorpz, aggressively.

Jupiter stepped back gracefully, as though in awe. "AH OK!" There was a silly grin on her face as she nodded her agreement.

"If my older brother ever finds out about this incursion, he'll be furious!"

Kilogramthree glanced in Jupiter's direction. "Baron?"

Sure enough, Jupiter did a u-turn, too. "Richthofen?"

There was a sweet note of optimism in her query.

After waiting for what felt like an eternity, Jupiter finally asked her closest friend the same question she'd asked before.

"You think'n the same thing I'm think'n?"

Intravenously, Kilogramthree began laughing. "NOT THIS TIME! Much worse than that girlfriend! Don't mistrust me! Just believe!" She laughed heartily when she did!

"Is big brother barons first name by chance Manfred?" Asked Jupiter batting her eyes like a school girl twerking it for a large crowd.

"Baron, Manfred Albrecht Freih... GERR von Richthofen?" Kilogramthree gave more details!

"Ya!" Lothar nodded, stowing his war axe in its parade rest position. "He towers above me by two years. As I'm still only eighteen."

"I absolutely… adore lamb chops!" Growled Kilogramthree smacking her thirst red lips!

"Have a seat, captain!" Turning back to Lothar, Jupiter continued. "Could you granted us safe passage, please?

The urgency in her concerned voice registered with the kind young warrior. "Oh, by all means, ladies! What's stopping you?"

Kilogramthree's loudest hiss was a powerful explosion. "Where can a green-eyed NYMPH-O from New York City's most impoverished borough, acquire training in the performing arts? I am, in fact, a professor of, shall we say… physics!"

Jusper's expression shifted as if she had swallowed a very sour lemon.


end of act III

act IV

The Primal Countess Kaylee-Nichole led her devoted following up and over Mount Kerasal, into the lush Lizkage valley below.

The perfume was almost too strong for the Royal Lady to bear. Gardenia, Heliotrope, and the buds of her favorite Panzee-Napalma flower combined to produce a powerful smell for her highness.

"AWE! Oh, how I LOVE the wonderful scent of Napalma in the morning!"

Kaylee-Nichole sprang up on her roman silver dragon saddle and cheered, spreading her arms and gorgeous wings wide! "SMELLS LIKE.... LIKE... VIC...!"

Then something occurred!


The lovely Valkyrie collided with a massive low hanging limb of an exceedingly tall willow tree! "ΛΉ!" She screamed upon first contact! "ӨЦᄃΉ! ΉӨᄂY, ᄃЯΛP!"

Kaylee-Nichole found herself staring at the quite beautiful shapeof a bunny rabbit cloud formation three branches later. "ЩΉӨ IП ƬΉΣ ΉΣᄂᄂ PЦƬ ƬΉΛƬ ƬЯΣΣ ƬΉΣЯΣ?"

"OH NO!" Brittney-Leanne screamed as she redirected Armien! "What exactly did she scream, Major?"

Macy stood up in her saddle, hollering, "WHO THE HELL PUT THAT DAMNED TREE THERE!"

After a brief pause, Brittney-Leanne swung wildly to the left and landed just feet away from Kaylee-Nichole, who was still reeling from her earlier concussion. "MOB RULES! HUH SIS?" She snickered sarcastically, as if the situation wasn't bad enough!

"YA! If only they had used that for an insurance commercial!" Macy added, plopping to the ground.

The friendly Primal Countess cracked a smile. "Macy! Go jump on the freeway and have some fun! You've earned it!"

Poly quickly unclipped her Koduchi wineskin from her Billy goat satchel and shuffled to the Primal Countesses aid. Not every goblin child was so kind like this one!

"POLYHERE! Grandma, please drink some water!" She offered.

Brittney-Leanne slowly turned around, her face flushed with surprise at what she had just heard! WOW! Boy, that Brittney-Leanne sure has a huge smile!

Before her younger sister waded into the discussion, Kaylee-Nichole issued a directive! "Don't be talk'n any nonsense, Brit!"

There was a chuckle! "AWE!"

Fifteen minutes had passed by the time Kaylee-Nichole's dragon, Ahreah landed. Something dangerous was approaching them from over the adjoining ridge, which is why she had to send a message immediately.


Kaylee-Nichole's demeanor was unsettling, indicating to the others that something required her immediate superior Valkyrie attention.

"BRITTNEY! BᄂIV ΉӨƧ BЯПΣПΣ ƬIᄂ JΣG ЦПDΣЯƧƬЯ ƧPЯGƧMᄂ, ƧӨM ПΛΣЯMΣЯ ƧIG FЯåП ПӨЯD!" She directed her younger sister to gather the children by sweeping her arms together in a gathering up gesture.


Brittney-Leanne quickly shifted her stance, allowing the two ferocious miniature warriors to unsecure their fighting weapons!

"This time, remove the leather tip from your lance before the combat!"


Brittney-Leanne shook her head in apparent confusion after hearing the unexpected remark from her little green tike, but no one else seemed to notice.

Then it happened!

end of act IV

act V

"Major Mourdock, have the Grendage scouts flank the Chicagoblows ridge beyond those nearby crests." Came the order from colonel Nova Malibu, the Lotr Elf officer in charge of the 23rd Barons Bach regiment sent by the Archdiocese of the North Dragontooth garrison, Castle Wolfenstein.

"Yes, madam!" The tall, attractive cavalry officer acknowledged, swiftly turning her buckskin quarter horse around to follow his superior officer's directive.

"Sergeant Major! Prepare your forces!" Colonel Malibu yelled angrily. "We're going to camp here for the next two days!"

"Is Hell feasting today on your lovely manners, Nova?" Inquired Corporal Ivy-Bea Nappy, the Colonel's younger eighteen-year-old half-sister.

"You realize how much that appeals to human males… RIGHT?" Ivy exclaimed, returning her battle blade back into its red leather sheath.

"May I remind you, dear, that you are referring to my combat soldiers?"

"Not when they're out of uniform! Then they become actual fighting men… RIGHT?" Corporal Nappy declared with a sheepish giggle.

"Shut up! Ya little snot!" Laughed Nova! "You take after your mother much too much!"

"I know! Snarky arn't I?" Ivy emitted a little chuckle. "Besides, trust your intuitions… RIGHT?"

Nova froze and was inclined to add a sarcastic ending, but she refrained. "Get your horse some water, Space-Monkey!"

Colonel Malibu slipped smoothly off the back of Amnio, her exquisite white Shagya Arabian horse, letting the velvety green wild grass cool her exhausted bare feet.

The elves of the larger northwest cordillera are prone to hot extremities. A natural protection against Mount Jersey Sux's freezing mountain top winters.

"OH MY!" Idly, Nova whispered. "What a wonderful time I have whenever I get to go to the south!"

The Colonel guided her steed into a shallow ravine, until her blonde furry top feet splashed into the refreshingly cool water of Delberty brook which fed the rustic village of RadJaskid as mere short march from their current location.

Tiny Bagdar minnows collected around her tootsies and soon sought to get between her furry tiny toes, eliciting an unexpected chuckle from the senior in command. "Well, hello there my lovely, lovely Libra's!"

Suddenly, a junior grade cavalry officer appeared behind Nova, interrupting her plans to lower herself into the refreshing stream water.

"Colonel Malibu! Ma'am!"

"You've got to be kidding me! STSM!"

A little box made of silver and onyx, about the size of a US silver dollar, was delivered to Nova by the young officer.

Captain Musk hissed in her left ear, and he looked quite dashing doing it. "Please forgive my interruption, my seductive little rural Elf!"

Nova grinned sheepishly at her forbidden human fiance, who bonded her to secrecy. "Are you still looking for my magic frequency, Captain?"

"What do you think?" He then stole a kiss on her left cheek, teasing her precious little pointy ear in the process! "Would you like to inspect my tent tonight?" he offered.

"Sounds like karmic justice to me!" After giving it a quick thought, she gave her Stealthy Tactical Stud-Muffin a quick return peck! "Sure!"

"It'll be like... bugging out with bedbugs!"

"Why Jōvan Musk, please tidy up your ideas! Jesus is privy to all of your innermost thoughts and words at all times! Don't forget that!"

The handsome officer paused in solitude to reflect.

Nova shuffled her little Elf tushy and giggling, "Just say'n."

"I am really to jump into the next level, miss Nova!"

"NAH DAH! Access denied! I share your most passionate yearnings and desires." She said so with no equivocation. "Please don't forget, honey, that we serve in the same military. Be patient and wait for your advancments."

And then Jōvan planted another passionate kiss on her. "Come on, sweetie! I'm only a lonely forbidden human!"

"I am well familiar with the prototypical muscular human stud! Very greatly appreciated… matter of fact!" Laughed Nova!

"Energy of abundance, ma'am?" He added, laughing back!

They enjoyed one another's company and valued their alone time together.

Amnio approached at that point, insisting on her portion of a well-deserved sip of cool pure mountain spring water.

"Hello, there, pooper-dooper!" Novastretched out and gently cradled her horse's broad neck in her arms, giving the beautiful animal a well-deserved embrace. "I love you so much my girly-girl!"

Captain Musk turned and stepped up onto the grassy slope, out of the shallow water. "I'm going to go set up your, sweetness."

Nova grinned as she turned around. "Thank you very much, Captain!"

In less than an hour, the 23rd Barons Bach regiment had nearly completed setting up the whole defensive encampment. The calvary horses were kept in a rope corral near the make shift stables and under strict watch.

By the time Nova had returned to the command field tent, she shares with her sister, only to slump face first onto her cotton cover goose down pillow in sheer exhaustion.

"Do you believe that after we enter the gates of Grim Willow garison, we will experience the energy shift again?"

"Not if we strategize beforehand and consider things through properly before acting, and we should be alright!" Nova leaned over and kissed her baby sister on the left cheek warmly and lovingly. "Don't be concerned! You've got my support at all times!"

"I'm not going near Universe Hall this time! Just saying!"

Nova stretched before rolling onto her side. "Don't be concerned! You will not have to!" She muttered in a tired slur.

Lieutenant Jordan Hornstar had just completed the final count of his courageous Grendage scouts at the opposite end of the field camp. "Private Freckle! Please ensure that the latrine facility is operating as soon as possible."

"Already done, sir," the young attractive 19-year-old soldier said.

"Many Thanks!" The Lieutenant rose to go. "Oh, the solitude! Please ensure that the female lavatory has a enough privacy curtain that fits this time! And close those gaps!"


Despite the absence of clouds, the sky had become a rich hue of Alizarin Crimson. The unexpected shift in weather piqued the interest of many troops.

"TROLLS! STRIKE WITH BRAW!" The westernmost guard gave up a yell.

"ARCHERS! RIGHT HEADING!" Captain Panzerhoist the order as she pulled her highland bronze Clamshell Claymore sword.

Cornel Malabu awoke from a deep slumber to see her tiny sister holding open Nova's thin black leather under bodice and corset.

"Katars!" Nova hastily twisted around in search of her razor brass knuckles palm weapons! "WHERE HAVE MY KATARS GONE?" She commanded, her brass knuckles tightly wrapped over her dainty hands.



After a huge explosion rocked the earth, the minutus tundra dust almost got airborne.

"ARCHERS! LEFT HEADING!" The westernmost guard threw up another loud shout! "DRAGONS ARE COMING FROM THE SOUTHEAST!"

"DOUBLE TIME!" Sergeant Bwelo, Master of Arms Staff, called to the cavalry soldiers stationed close. "ENGAGE!" He screamed, dodging a barrage of Sopherion arrows.

The rhythmic sounds of triple trumpet broke out in the middle of the turmoil.

"REGIMENT!" Colonel Malabu roared as she rode Amnio, firmly gripping her Highlander Claymore war blade. "SALVAGE THY LIVES! FOR YE ARE FIGHTING FOR OUR BELOVED, LORD AND SAVIOR… JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH!"


Then the unexpected occurred!

end of act V

act VI

As Captain Aubrey Rose "Felix" Nicolzah led her troops up Hamburger Hill, also known by locals as "Detroit mound" the item they shot down looked like nothing anybody on the ground had ever seen before. And still glowing brightly!

"Raise the rear!" She spoke in hushed tones to master sergeant Nicolzah.

Twenty calvary men moved treacherously through the dense Dewalt Jappy underbush at the signal with a single hand.

The bitter stench of sulphure clung fast to the dense gray fog rising from the tundra just beyond the crest of the courageous Grendage scout warriors.

Just above the hilltop, Captain Nicolzah lifted her head caustically where she saw a very beautiful young warrior angel with gorgeous dazzling white wings kneel and gently wave her hand over the smoking wreckage of the smoking remains of the fallen forsaken item.

Stretching her arm behind her, she clicked her fingers, signaling to the master sergeant that she needed his Amherse spy field lens.

"I've only read about these intricate beauty in folklore novlets!"

Aubrey Rose exclaimed in a hush whisper.

Lieutenant Maxine Adel "MaXi" Nicolzah, her youngest sister, gasped in hushed tone. "What exactly do you see, Felix?"

Captain Nicolzah co*cked her head in wonder, like a little kid seeing for the first time that fat old loud mouth christmas drunk... SANTA JAUS!

"Just a few hundred feet away is a young, dark tannned skin beautiful heavenly angel!"

Then Aubrey Rose clarified. "Holy crap, that woman is tall!"

MaXi gradually moved into her senior officer position, popping her head out from between two bushes to have a look for herself at this magnificent wonder while supporting a colossal grin!

"I'M PEEING!" Shouted the six-foot eight Brittney-Leanne, only inches from the five-foot four Lieutenant's perky little nose.

The sudden shock caused the boot officer to let out a bloodcurdling scream before losing her balance and falling backwards, back down to the bottom of "Detroit mound," whence she had come!

This prompted the stealthy old master sergeant to burst out laughing while slapping the Captain on her back as if he were simply hanging out with the fellas at a Beerfest!

"WE ARE IN THE HEART OF BATTLE MASTER SERGEANT! ACT YOUR AGE!" Growled Aubrey Rose in a firm, calm voice of authority.

"But that was funny as hell, pumpkin!" The old soldier grinned and murmured back to his oldest child. "My youngest is a constant source of amusem*nt for me! I just adore it!"

Aubrey Rose returned her gaze and gracefully lifted her hand over her head.

The young boot Captain trembling was unmistakable as she cleared her throat selectively. "We have laid down our arms, my gallant soldier! I am coming out with no intention of causing damage to anybody and am NOT eager to fight!"

"EMERGE, RETARDED ONE!" Brittney-Leanne responded, giggling childishly like a mentally disturbed cave woman crashing a Slamdance party, club firmly in hand!

Aubrey Rose froze, glancing back at her courageous Master sergeant in search of the best course of action.

"What shall I do, father?"

"Off you go, my beloved one!"

Captain Nicolzah shook her head anxiously, clearly deeply regretting her promotion.

The Lieutenant Nicolzah returned up Hamburger Hill alone, sneaking between her older sister and their father.

"Sorry!" MaXi apologized in a most dignified manner. "To my own chagrin! Fumbled once again!" She laughed, then realized that no one else was joining her.

"Put all of your weapons down and your hands up." Aubrey Rose politely enquired in a low, quiet voice to her little Lieutenant sister.

MaXi laughed in a foolish way. "Why?"



The Master sergeant let out a snide smirk!

MaXi looked perplexed! "OKAY! Now what?"

"Your giving yourself up to the enemy by crossing over to the other side of this hill!"

"SPEAK WHAT? LIKE H*LL I AM!" A fiery, angry Lieutenant Nicolzah roared! She instantly lowered her delicate arms down to her sides complaining in a little tike's voice. "You need to stop playing with my brain, sis! Gives me a rip tide headache every time!"

end of act VI

act VII

"Do you think Jesus has a significant number of Star seeds in his arsenal?" Jupiter happily broke it down.

"The majority are said to be Pleiadeans, Venusians, and goblins from Hopkinsville. "And everyone else, including us, that He invites to participate."

"And the Slavojka Alojz Kove Wonder, perhaps?" challenged Kilogramthree with the zeal of an eager adolescent.

Jupiter was a little shocked and perplexed by this unexpected query, since she understood the famed Lake Faerie Superstar was much more than a fairytale fable, as many peasants firmly believed. Few people had the privilege of seeing the Lake Faerie Wonder's unique beauty and even fewer had the extraordinary fortune to physically put their hands on her! Jupiter appeared to vanish into a deep pit of adoration as her eyes lit with a strange gleam.

"YEPPERS!" She gave a thoughtful grin. "You can always bank on Sarah!"

Kilogramthree smiled warmly in response. "WOW! What a confidence booster! I adore Sarah Ann Dipity so very much! She is the cutest little Lake Faerie fluke that ever was!"

"Yeah! She inspires me as well!" A gentle wind suddenly blew Taraxacum erythrospermum gingerly over the surrounding Talkum valley basin as it emerged from the forest's edge.

"My younger sister and I used to play with those small fellers when we were only tikes." Kilogramthree laughs at the many seeds that are floating through the air.

"Yeah! Babs and I too!"

At that same moment, Capri approached in her usual unhurried manner, acting as if she did not give a hoot about anything, with Tick Tock and Daisey Wade not far behind.

"More blueberry jucie?" Jupiter politely asked while holding up a thermos made of swine bladder and coated in buckskin fifteen inches tall.

"Sure!" Kilogramthree said while holding out her coconut drinking cup. "You should know that it's my fave!"

Jupiter rolled her big titanium blue eyes as she shook her head, laughing. "Dah! Did you manage to forget that we went through childhood together?" She giggled as she gave a hearty clap with her delicate hands.

The mood suddenly changed, and the girls' spirits plummeted. "Do you really think war is on the horizon?" Asked Kilogramthree, who already knew the answer.

Jupiter was twenty-four at the time, and it was a particularly trying period for her. While she was overjoyed by her promotion to Major, she also felt a deep feeling of failure at not being better prepared to serve in Jesus Christ' vital army.

"Yeah." She spoke of it in a soft, mournful whisper. "Unfortunately, I have to say that's the case."

The captain finished the last of her juice and then opened her nanny goat satchel so that she could place the empty container back inside it's protective cover made of black leather. "That was my assumption all along, too." She more or less said to herself in a slight mumble.

Jupiter out a hand and slapped her best friend on the back. "You need not worry, sweetie. It will be the longest, most dreadful ordeal of your life. In fact, I promise!" She spoke confidently before bursting into hysterics!


Jupiter stood up and stretched for a while before heading over to Capri's side, where she began stowing her empty thermos. "It is time to leave. Kaylee, Brittney and the kids, have landedin the basin down." With that, the two beautiful nymph field officers mounted their majestic mares and walked gracefully to the end of the rocky outcrop and into the damp, dark Great Petstage forest.

Kilogramthree thought Tammi's Tippy-Toe Trail was foul-smelling and a little ominous, but it was the girls' only option for reaching Talkum valley basin below.

On the other side of the trail, there was a plentiful brook that flowed into a reasonably deep pond.

The Tippy-Toe Trail guard also made his home near this pond, at the water's edge. And this old Ghoul took his stricted responsibilities very seriously. Whenhe was sober, that is! His name was Reavis Smartly, but everyone around him just called him Rub.

For his ripe old age of 235, Reavis was quite a handsome gent; however; his body odor was really potent! Kinda like what you might expect from a sardine can left open in the mid-August heat!

As the girls rode up to the single trail gate at the crossing of Mudbutton creek.


Jupiter confirmed their suspicions! "HOLY COW!" They burst out laughing! "THAT'S RUDE AS H*LL!"

"Stinks worse than my great-grand pappy's breath!"

Jupiter turned. "You're sicker than I thought!"

After stumbling back to his feet, Reavis Smartly addressed the two approaching foreign warriors in a semi-smart manner! "Did you remember to bring the beer, guys?" He slurred in a semi-smartly way, a little uncertain of his exact location.

The horses jolted back and to the sides of the small, primitive trail, almost terrified, to avoid running over the inebriated old Ghoul.

"WHOA, GIRLFRIEND! RUB'S STENCH DOESN'T RESONATE WITH ME AT ALL!" The major yelled, siding backwards off her black rhinestone saddle. "Calm down, Capri!" Jupiter reassured the nervous mare by gently rubbing the right side of her broad, muscular neck.

"HOLY BULL, MASTER!" Kilogramthree admonished her for trying to regain control of Tick Tock! "Are you crazy, Rub?"

Reavis looked about casually. "Not true. Everyone is intoxicated!" He explained everything clearly with a drunken grin. "Did ya forget tah bring dah beer?"

"Did ya forget tah take dah bath?" Mocked the captain as she turned her head to take a deep breath.

"BACK OFF, RUB! YEAH WE BROUGHT YOU BEER!" Jupiter charged while attempting to unstrap her black leather side saddle combat bag. "We can't stay for more than a couple though."

"Oh that's fine, Juniper!"

The unsatisfied young nymph rolled her dazzling eyes gently. "JUPITER!" She said this while handing the old fart a boda bag full of freshly brewed Steingaden's Shmacken-Cracker Green Peaco*ck Tropical Pale Ale! His own favorite!

"OH sorry, Jasper!" He apologized excitedly, clutching the leather container's rope handle. "Thought yer name was Jerry!"

"Please tell me, Reavis. When was your last encounter with the Knight?" Kilgramthree inquired politely as she collapsed to the ground, gripping Tick Tock's reins.

"Who? The Black Knight?"

"Yeah!" Through a mess of shaggy gray breard, Reavis grasped his stubby chin. "Well, come on. I'm not sure." He grumbled to himself. "Maybe one hour ago. Why is that?"

"IS HE NEARBY?" Jupiter exclaimed with excitement and vanteur.

Reavis took a slow sip of his Ale. "Yeah. The Hippie grasslands are in Billygoat Park."

"He's here! Never in my life have I had the pleasure of meeting the Black Knight." Permitted Kilogramthree securing Tick Tock with a rope around a Bass tree along the water's edge. "He's reportedly tall, dark, and handsome. Your thoughts?"

Jupiter's eye rolled slowly in response! "Kilo! A full twelve feet of him! Inconceivable! You're just not in the same league! Listen to me!" "HOLY CRAP!"


Reavis drank one last swallow of beer and then started rummaging under his robes for the invisible gate key he was solely responsible for. "You keep forgetting I lost it last month." He admitted to being humiliated.

Jupiter giggled as she reached into her auxiliary side saddle pouch and pulled out a handful of black liqurish, handing one to the old, intoxicated Ghoul. "Here!" She offered with a beautiful smile.

"NO WAY!" Reavis enthusiastically accepted the unusual treat from the old south. "THANK YOU, JIMMY!"

An old mud and bolder pavilion with two park benches and two covered fire pits greeted the three friends as they made their way down to the water's edge. "Is your father still in charge of the tenth baragade, Kilogramthree?"

"No way, Duh! He was transferred to the Razorbacks three fortnights ago. Say Reavis?"

"Indeed! Yes sweetheart!"

Kilogramthree cleared her delicate throat gently. "Was your wife ever found?"

Time and space stopped for Reavis as his frail, elderly mind raced back to that terrible day so many years ago. "Nah Dah. Never did." He smiled, a sorrowful, apologetic grin out of deference to his dearly adored Beverly and his past wife.

"I'm so sorry, Rub." Whispered Jupiter.

"Yeah. Me too." The elderly Ghoul sat down on the right bench's edge.

"Thank you, kids. I'm going to be OK. I'm sure." The girls slowly looked at one another. "I'll be honest and say that creating this new reality has been difficult." He mumbled softly.

"Yeah. I bet." Notwithstanding of his body order, Kilogramthree responded as she wrapped her lengthy ark around the elderly Ghoul.

Just then, Mister Cramps, the ugly old Orc, roared from a distance, resonating across the forest on the other side of the brook. "YOU DOWN THERE, RUB?"

Reavis responded by yelling back. "YEP!"

"COMIN BUDDY! HOLD ON!" The old Orc soon made his way down the semi-hidden hillside, emerging from the deep dark woods just on the other side of Mudbutton Creek from the trio. "There's a hell of a fight going on right now in Talkum valley! Trolls are emerging from the woodwork down there!"

Jupiter and Kilogramthree were surprised because they had both assumed that the Sikligar troll army were in the next valley over, nearly sixty kilometers from the girls' current location.

The field officers jumped to their feet and scurried for their individual cavalry horses in preparation for whatever was in wait for them a short distance down Tammi's Tippy-Toe Trail.

"Where are you gals going?" Reavis asked, rising to his feet.

"BILLYGOAT PARK IN LEMON GROVE-CALI!" The captain announced over her shoulder as the girls vanished into the damp, dark and quite stinky forest.

end of act VII

end of Chapter I


A Novel by: COUNT: V. V. Nicolzah (unedited/unabridged. Copy write protected)

Chapter II

Battle for Grim Willow Garrison

God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and of self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

act I

"I'M GETTING THE SENSE THAT THIS IS GOING TO GO DREADFULLY WRONG!" Captain Musk yelled over his right shoulder, as he thrust his bronze highlander Clamshell Claymore blade deep between the top rib cages of the nearest Sopherion troll who had materialized out of nowhere.

When the Captain's broad blade slid unexpectedly in his double grip palms, he knew it was because of the colossal amount of blood he had been losing from a sever stab wound in his upper right shoulder.

With a strong yank and a small twist, Jovan's weapon slid out from the combatant's chest, leaving a path of blood and what appeared to be the remains of the troll's dark red liver. The combatant became limp and lifeless after being kicked in the jaw.

In a frenzy, a second Sopherion warrior crashed into captain Musk's side, cutting savagely across his upper back!

"YOU MOTHER… !" He spun his leather-armored upper torso quick enough to be able to use his Carpathian dagger helmet as a formidable weapon plunged it deep into his opponent's throat until it emerged from the back, snapping several of his opponent's sevencervical vertebraeswith a resounding crack, a massive amount of blood immediately followed!

Many dead warriors lay still in the late amethyst spring sun of Talkum valley, amid the stench of sulfur and bloody body parts.

A further mystery explosion occurred unexpectedly a mere few hundred feet from where the squad leader was standing, causing the ground to shake violently.


Sarah Panzerhoist dodged an arrow aimed exclusively at her exposed, bleeding skull in a flash! She didn't, however, notice the second as it buried it's self deep into the left side of her young neck!

Although it was a major wound, it was not, however, life-threatening, as Sarah was only a mere Captain!

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" She screamed, chuckling and in a lot of agony!

With a clumsy bound, Sarah rose to her feet clutching her serpentine claymore firmly in her right hand and charged on, leaping over numerous dead bodies until she reached the group of four cavalry horses tethered to a nearby oak tree!

"I'VE GOT YOU, BABE!" She spoke softly into the left ear of her personally owned horse named Pegasus.

"SARAH! BEHIND YOU!" Captain Musk shouted as he raised his armored forearm to avoid being sliced by a Sopherion's seax while wiping a trickle of blood from his huge brown eyes!

The twenty-one-year-old girl had no idea what had occured when her head was suddenly severed by a Sikligar troll army war axe, her lifeless corpse dropping to the blood-soaked battle terrain, appearing animated as if in slow motion!

Again, another fallen angel had perished that tragic morning.

"CAPTAIN! BEHIND YOU!" Roared Major Mourdock as he released yet another bronze shaft arrow from his 24 count battle sheaf, hoping it would make its way through the tremendous commotion and into the body of an unwitting enemy combatant!

And sure enough, it did, indeed! "I JUST LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN GOES JUST AS INTENDED!" He laughed as he reached down and pulled Corporal Nappy back onto her feet. "YOU ALRIGHT?"

"YEAH!" Ivy replied, scraping her serpentine sword out of the muck and blood of the ensuing battle.

"CARPE DIEM, BABY!" She shrieked as the five-foot-three-inch-tall human warrior charged back onto the smoky battlefield, her massive bloodied bronze blade sword held high in hand, striking head first into the left side of two Sikligar troll enemy infantry men killing one immediately!

"D*MN GIRL!" This made the major chuckle out loud to himself. "GET 'EM, LITTLE TIGER!"

Six additional underprepared young Lotr Elf field officers fighting to save their own necks were lost by enemy cannon fire as it exploded to the far left of the wet, dark Great Petstage woodland border at ten in the morning.

Numbers were dropping rapidly as the remaining forty three hundred out of five thousand Lotr Elf and human combat soldiers of the 23rd Barons Bach regiment fought in such a ferocious fury!

Soon the body count quickly shifted as the enemy death toll rapidly sky rocketed by the end of the initial two hours battle!

"NORTH BOROUGH TROOPS... ENGAGE!" Lieutenant Jordan Hornstar cried as he led his cavalry troops into the violent and suffocating melee!

"You know, my father manages to eat three square meals a day without ever having to use the bathroom for nearly a week at a time!" Chuckling Doctor Pygmy Tadpole under hight tension.

"Can you please be serious?"

"YEAH! That's right! Absolutely true!"

Despite the strain, they could share a joke.

"WOW! If that's the case, your father must really be full of..."

"OH, BELIEVE ME, COMMANDER!" Laughed Pygmy, as the fighting raged on around them. "HE IS!"

"WELL VENUS, I'LL BE THE SUN MOON RISING!" Scoffed Commander Jako Talbit, the regiment's sole chaplain and a Celtic Driud.

"GO LIBRALAND!" He roared, rising his broad fist high in the air, as he swung his battle dagger ferociously through the air striking numerous times with the incoming Spherion trolls. "SHALL WE CONTINUE ON WITH THIS CHARMING LITTLE DISAGREEMENT, SERGEANT SLAPDASH!"


Yet another loud exploitation erupted nearly dead center of the 23rd Barons Bach regiment main camp sending two supply wagon toppling onto their sides.

"BRING YOURSELFS TO HONOR, Sc*ms!" Yelled the battle engineer for the Dread Knight trolls, Lenzki Gram Jaharah.

He then delivered a knockout blow with his heavy Black Wing Sword to the nearest enemy, ending the fight for the unwary Danesberry Elf Avenger Special Forces Beret.

A split second later, the massive Dread Knight troll had swung around, taking careful aim at sergeant Slapdash's exposed skull, ready to strike his enemy in the back of the head with his black primer morning star!

"BOW BEFORE ME!" The command was given as a serpentine claymore immediately severed the knight's right arm. Corporal Nappy then dealt the death blow to the back of the warriors, neck, swinging her sword ferociously like Babe Ruth had just hit a record-breaking home run!

Lenzki Gram Jaharah the Dread Knight troll fell to the burning hot Talkum valley basin in an instant, like a large heavy boulder releasing from the side of a rocky cliff during a disastrous tropical tsunami!


"IVY! JUST BEHIND YOU!" Captain Musk screamed as he noticed a thin black-clad ghoul approaching from behind with a long sword pulled!

As though a bolt of lightning struck the ground, the teen conscript managed to rapidly twist, turn, and deliver her pearl handle service dagger, plunging it deep into the ghoul's dirty gray forehead with wrath!

"HA!" She yelled, her excitement at the world! "TAKE THAT, YA LOOSE DOCKEN, FUTHER MUCKER!" She laughed!

Unexpectedly, Lieutenant Jordan Hornstar led his company of Drúedain Heijunka militants from the east into the thick of the battle, among the many fallen colleagues and burning canvas tents.

As infantrymen assaulted the vast fields to the north of the main combat zone, a distant trumpet blared loudly!

"SECOND BATALLION!" Colonel Nova Malibu yelled as she emerged from the gray and black smoke and dust as she first got on the scene. "ENGAGE!"

The volume of noise was, at best, overwhelming, and inconsiderate!

"IVY! TAKE MY HAND!" She yelled as she yanked Corpral Nappy up onto the back of her calvery saddle, dashing Amnio in and out of the ferocious hand-to-hand combat. "TAKE WARNING, SWEET-PEA!"


Just then, a single Sopherion arrow struck its mark, burrowing deep into the young teen enlisted girl's upper right shoulder and nearly knocking her off the horse.

"AWE! YOU SUCK!" She yelled, desperately, clutching Nova's bronze and thick black leather linothorax.

"IVY!" Nova screamed out of pure fear for her only sister as she briefly hesitated!


"NOVA! THIS WAY!" Yelled to Captain Musk as he quickly made his way back to Ivy and his lovely elvin fiancée!

"THIRD PLATOON!" Shouted the Colonel as she galloped up behind the girls as he emerged from the dark Great Petstage woodland border. " ENGAGE!"

Without hesitation, the three bloodied and battle-worn warriors made their way to a solitary narrow animal path leading deep into the dark, damp, and chilly forest.


The young bowman reappeared a scant second later, followed closely by Private Charingsway, 14, who yelled back, "YETH, THIR!"

When the trio trotted down the concealed path, Captain Musk appeared to Nova's right. "Irremediably, we must attend to her wounds!"

In dismay, the Colonel turned around.

"She's losing a tremendous amount of blood!" He insisted!

Captain Jovan Musk sprinted ahead! Screaming, "FOLLOW ME!" He was heroic as he pioneered a new path into the unknown.

end of act I

act II


"NO WAY, MAN!" Lieutenant Nicolzah barked and got down on her knees, nearly pleading! "PLEASE! FELIX MADE ME DO IT!"

Brittney Leanne answered with a slow roll of her lovely eyes! "GET UP OFF YOUR KNEES, KNUCKLE HEAD! I'M YOUR SIBLING, NOT YOUR MASTER!" She ordered.

Maxine Adel, perplexed, raised her head! "You guys sure get a kick out of messing with my head, don't cha?"


"My dad's a Wimpy the Wet-Nurse Wizard!" Stated Maxine Adel, matter-of factly!

"OH REALLY!" The gorgeous young Valkyrie grinned. "WELL! My daddy is… Vladimir the Dork!"

Brittney-Leanne stood tall, proud, and firm! "THE GREAT… VLADIMIR THE DORK. Which clearly indicates that your dorky daddy Wimpy, is full of… LORT!" She retaliated!

"Speak, what?"

"Your good ol' Daddy-O is not Wimpy the Wet-Nurse Wizard! He's really, Valkyrie Vladimir Nicolzah!" Brittney-Leanne declared with a loftily smile! Hands planted firmly on hips! "THE GREAT…VLADIMIR THE DORK of Kolding Denmark. Which makes you my baby sister! And he's Pleiadian! Not human!"

Maxine Adel, who was now fully bewildered, rubbed her blonde head and smiled like a small child. "What are you up too, lady?" She finished with a silly giggle!

"BESIDES THAT! Good ol' Daddy-O only wishes he could be Wimpy the Wet-Nurse Wizard!" Brittney-Leanne turned her head slightly and muttered something like... "A clear sigh from a real... DORK!"

Maxine Adel's face was filled with disappointment and dismay. "So you mean to tell me that my dad is really nothing more than a mere… Dork from Denmark?"

"And a GREAT one at that!" Brittney-Leanne boasted with pride! "Say, I like your patriot spirit, kid!"

"YA! YAY… GO TEAM! So, where exactly is Kolding Denmark?"

"Really, Dad is from Titan. He merely formulated in Denmark."

"Where is Titan?"

Brittney Leanne face became concerned. "Saturn's largest moon." She replied in hushed tone.

This part of the conversation completely baffled Maxine Adel. "OH! I see."

"HEY! Moreover, you have another big sister who is even older than Kaylee Nichole is the Primal Countess of our noble bloodline."


"Yep! And quite stunning in appearance, too!"

"Really? So you girls must have inherited your mom's good looks, then!"


"Yeah! That's what happened with Aubrey and I, anyways. Thank God!"


"So a Countess, huh?"

"Yep! She's a prima donna, at that! A mere Second Countess is all I am."


"Ya! Still, I hope to mature eventually!"

They shared a hearty guffaw!

Suddenly, in the blinding planet Rush midday heat, captain Nicolzah and some of the fart slowly appeared out of nowhere, over the summit of Hamburger hill, quietly and with their hands raised high in the air!

"What are they doing?" Asked Brittney-Leanne looking up, at the two fumbling knuckle-heads emerge into the open air, as though begging for their own life.

Maxine Adel looked up at the two jittery warriors who were scampering straight for them. Unsurely, the young Lieutenant replied.

"They've given up now, madam!"

This caused the young and gorgeous Valkyrie to roll her eyes! "Well tell 'em to knock it off!" She firmly suggested!


To be continued. This novel is currently under production in live-action status. The work is written in a continuous prose format. Regularly occurring updates in process.

HIDING JUPITER Staring "Athena Swaruu X" (2024)
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